There has been a number of times in my life recently I have wonder why I continue to serve a church, besides all that call from God business. All the frustrations of being in a place and serving many people who do not have much control in the other parts of their lives, in their work place, with their health or multitude of other places, who feel free to express at church all the pent up needs and to vent in a safe place. Where it is safe to be angry or _____ (fill in the emotional blank) at the pastor or unfortunately at the pastor's spouse. This is also demonstrated in the need to keep everything the same. To keep the same activities, the same traditions in order to make sure the church is the one place they can count on for stability in their lives.
My sadness is that they hold so tight to the traditions and by holding on to those traditions their safe place is only safe for them and is not open to anyone else, unless they are willing to change and become like them. Without change and/or allowing other people to make the church a safe place, on their own terms, the church becomes a tomb that is only fully realized when it is empty.
This last week I was reminded why I continue to serve a congregation, beside all that call from God business. Last week I got to spend a day with an Elder who understands what it means to be part of a congregation. We spent the day putting speakers in the sanctuary for the members of the congregation who do not hear as well as they have in the past. As we worked we both new that the room was to small to need speakers, as a matter of fact when we tested the speakers he could not always tell if the the sound was coming from me or the speakers.
What I remembered was that one of the things that keeps me serving a congregation is the privilege of being with and learning from the people am a called to serve. It might be selfish of me but I get a lot of joy of seeing people using - unselfishly - the gifts God has given to them. I believe that part of my responsibility, as a pastor, (and in general as a Christian) is to observe and then tell people when I see God at work in their living and giving. There are many people who do this all the time. I just don't always see it through the few squeaky wheels.
I am beginning the New Year reassured that God is a work in the church I have been call to serve - in spit of all we try to do to get in the way of God's purpose.
My sadness is that they hold so tight to the traditions and by holding on to those traditions their safe place is only safe for them and is not open to anyone else, unless they are willing to change and become like them. Without change and/or allowing other people to make the church a safe place, on their own terms, the church becomes a tomb that is only fully realized when it is empty.
This last week I was reminded why I continue to serve a congregation, beside all that call from God business. Last week I got to spend a day with an Elder who understands what it means to be part of a congregation. We spent the day putting speakers in the sanctuary for the members of the congregation who do not hear as well as they have in the past. As we worked we both new that the room was to small to need speakers, as a matter of fact when we tested the speakers he could not always tell if the the sound was coming from me or the speakers.
What I remembered was that one of the things that keeps me serving a congregation is the privilege of being with and learning from the people am a called to serve. It might be selfish of me but I get a lot of joy of seeing people using - unselfishly - the gifts God has given to them. I believe that part of my responsibility, as a pastor, (and in general as a Christian) is to observe and then tell people when I see God at work in their living and giving. There are many people who do this all the time. I just don't always see it through the few squeaky wheels.
I am beginning the New Year reassured that God is a work in the church I have been call to serve - in spit of all we try to do to get in the way of God's purpose.
5 comments:
It sounds like God is using the gifts he has given you, to bless your congregation. Being an "encourager" is a gift from God. It seems so many people complain or they don't know how much God loves and values them or what they do. Encouraging is like watering a garden. Water the garden, point them to the "Son" shine and watch them grow. :) Of course, you ARE the pastor and so I am not telling you anything new. :)
One of my closest friends and mentor (she's in hospice now) was the wife of our Presbyterian pastor. We grew very close and so I know very well all the joys, blessings, frustration and hurts that can occur in a congregation.
I know that the pastor's wife and kids (PK) are scrutinized and held up on a pedestal or up to a certain standard and it is a lot of pressure sometimes. (not unlike the political arena - church can get so political)
She used to say that sometimes PK's will act out, rebelling against the pressure when they get older. She did counseling and so was big on communication and almost always set aside Friday nites for "family only" time.
Also, that some churches do stagnate because they have some of the old timers saying "This is the way we have always done it" or people don't really want to hear the "Living Word" and it gets reflected in the sermons or they sometimes can be clicky and don't go out of their way to welcome new comers and help them feel at ease.
The Pastor once told me that being a pastor was like being a doctor because you are always on call, except you don't make the same money.
After that pastor (our friend) left it turns out that they ran the second pastor out. I wasn't going to the church at the time (still don't)and so I can't imagine what he could've done that was so bad. My encounters with him and his wife were nice. Sad. :(
The next pastor was wonderful and very much loved - but he ended up deeply hurting his family and the church because he had an affair (that got exposed) with a married deacon or session member. He was very much loved and preached the living word and the church was growing. He had to leave and both marriages broke up. Even tho I didn't go there, I had gotten to know them a little and they were a lovely family. Also, I am not judging him - people are human. King David had an affair with his best friend's wife, who became pregnant and so he had his best friend sent up to the front lines,which meant certain death and yet, because he was truly repentant, God used him to become one of the mightiest kings of Israel.
They have had another wonderful pastor since back then and the church is doing well again. :)
I hope this didn't come across as negative - I just understand some of the dynamics and how hard a pastor and his family work. I know that Jesus has called us to "fellowship together" and that we will be blessed by the church and be a blessing to the church and the church is a blessing to the community.
You never know what seed will take hold and become the next Billy Graham. :)
My church, as I'm sure are most, is always struggling with getting new members. The particular goal is YOUNG new members. (of course many of the youngster that grew up in the church fly away to far away places). The Elders (and i do mean elders as I'm sure you can imagine) don't want ANYthing to change. I have been asked to join the women's group, but I can't because I work. Tradition is the ladies meet over brunch! How many younger women can do that? There are a few affluent women that can (but do they??) make it but that isn't an option for me. I do really like most of the people at my church but "their" traditions make it so hard for people like me to get more involved. I know how frustrated I get, I can't even imagine how frustrating it must be for you!
Keep doing what you are doing. It is difficult but if this is what God called you to do -- do it! I watched a man of God struggle with the same things, but he stood firm. Worked and encouraged those around him. His work helped the small church grow and make changes. It amazed me to watch those that wanted to keep things the same start to grow and change. He has now gone on to Glory but I am sure he was greeted with "Well done thy good and faithful servant". May God give you strength and courage each day in you journey. Sheila
Please keep reminding me why I serve a congregation. So far the new year has been great. I have had limited interaction with church members...so I have not yet heard any complaints, fears, anger, etc.
But tomorrow I will be in the middle of all those people....preaching a sermon that basically says...your time is up....look forward...let's get moving or not. If you chose not...then I'll chose not to give my best. I'll just go drink coffee and relax.
Glad you got those speakers....maybe they will finally hear you.
The pain of being a minister is difficult to explain, I'm quite sure. When you and your message of acceptance is not accepted by those who want sameness, it must be hard to be accepting of those who are rejecting others in the name of Christ.
As a PK I saw the effects of church dynamics on my father. For me the church became the place of rejection and a lack of acceptance. I recently blogged on "My Disquiet" on my blog North Star Mental Fitness Blog. The pain of not being able to be myself as a PK hopefully was communicated on my blog.
My pain in the church was fostered by not fitting into the samness and a lack of validation of Christ in me. You mission is right on the target.
I respect you for being a minister, trying to bring love and acceptance into the church. I was not able to do accept that challenge even though I have a BD degree. Now I try to bring love and acceptance to others in the role of a psychologist.
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